Monday, May 28, 2007
Things sometimes maybe mircle, confused and magical depend on hw u think...like n0w i share "DREAMS," sometimes would u believe that what dreams u have and it cn happen in reality which u wont noe about it. Thiings u do sometimes repeated and u will be wondering did i do it b4 or some else. Same background, same place, same ppl, same old things...but jus blurr on dreams. Things may repeated, and same in dreams...
Wondering things that repeated or dreams which maybe really tell us abt our future likes...
Dreams may have bad or good. Dreams also complicated to noe. But it's true that it really leads to future. Cus future things we wont noe...for me i will sae "Future we create" it true that we create by waiting itself to come true.
Dreams sometimes fake sometimes real. When it happen...wont noe. But when it happen, u start to ask did i do b4!!! Dream come true is good or bad? And will the things you dreams, will happen all of it or jus part of it of your dreams to reality? Dreams maybe blurr but when it happen...dun u find is magical?
[Dreams=Future] - you may believe or u will not...depend on you.
Memorries_Tears 
|7:56 PM|
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Going to aviod cus damn dae i had for todae.
I dun wan to pity anymore cus once pity forever will huo hui.
Jus hope h3 ask for "B" 1st but no m3.
How! Once done cnt be back. Hate the way cus not suitable.
Doesn't noe what i wan for...or doesn't noe what h3 wan.
Shld go on...i hope it end soon.
Doesn;t belong to the same world...
H3 use hi3 way saying care...but still cnt f33l it...
Fac3ing some0ne which dun lik3 at all, r3ally damn it...wan to let it go...
Cnt see the truth in hM...bluff or truth onli h3 no3 for HMs3lf.
I'm letting go cus u are no mine and i'm no yrs...so dun hang on to it...like u sae u cn and u wont let "B"!!
Nw smth i wan to sae for my "Da Jie.":
I noe how you feel nw...for todae...i really noe and i really do.
But lucky gt u otheRwise...i will be suffering.
You wan too blame yrself...i really no choice!
But i still hate the way u blame yrself...cus i'm the one BAD!
Dun blame yrself or myself liao...things happen liao...
我们一起面对...
But i tell u the moments u rush dwn to STS...i really see mircle...
And als0 that i rmb u asking me during our hang-out at nite time in SG'Post...
I'AM TELLING YOU NOW!!! START U ARE CMF MY JIE LIAO FOR SURE!!!
Dun sae u nt fit...nw i ask u back, I fit to be yrs mei...anot.
Future we create tgt...depend on you wan anot.
And also wan thinngs...
我没有后回交你这个朋友和姐妹!!!
Even we may angry or happy...
but dun think much...
My life got U..i really so happy...really!!!
Infront of friend...we sm times Sa Jiao...but nvm lah...the word happy i going to aim for nw.
*~Our Hand Sign and our song~* means lot to us cus this make us be strong.
And now my life i love:
1. Family
2.Jie Mei
3.Worth Friend
4.Future Lao Gong
Memorries_Tears
|12:10 AM|
Friday, May 25, 2007
Today is my earliest time which wake up the earliest day i have. Why early...cus todae when to Navy Open House. So nd to reach sch at 8.0oam...i shld late abit ard 8.15-8.25 reach sch, cus reach there heven start to go ard 9 smth then go. I where my ite bishan camp T-shirt and a blue jeans...so i cn sae heven go i areadi vry hot. So tired for t0dea trip. And also kanna abit sun burn...but that not the point. The point is ME!!! BEACAME BLACK LIAO!!! Ekk...i dun wan...me 好不容易 not so tanned...but 3-4 hr at there areadi make so dark and so more ard sea place so more dark. SIEN...wan to cry...my skin white white~come back please...sobxx.
Than nvm...todae nvr have so mucx fun, cus go navy theRe is execrise. My leg thights so damn pain. Walk and walk...some more dunnoe what boat is that which we walk and walk...make me walk like mad. Then nvm...all the most part fun is the Riding Boat...which below at the Navy Boat...we sit quite small but small boat at least gt 20 plus ppl - 30 ppl. So much fun cus boat bound and turn.haha. And todae suppose to meet YB de...cus leg pain dunnoe hw to tell him but wait tell him he sae "see this time is you" so dunnoe hw but last dun care lah i still sae. But all i cn sae heng yar cus he also gt things on he nvr blame me but still ask me rest...hehe...so thnks YB anyway.
And todae really cn sae tired...cus even my class every time energy wan...but last at bus also all quiet. Cus TIRED. Me also slp at bus awhile todae really tired. And some one make so blurr until dunnoe hw to sae him. And also tomorrow die lor i think maybe gt meet "K". Sian. Su lor trow me away...Dunnoe hw, wan to meet or dun wan to meet! idot. But dun really like to see him lah....
Memorries_Tears
|10:11 PM|
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
2nd qusetion come lor. Take it and try bah.
Memorries_Tears
|2:20 PM|
Today LSM exam. Really stress up especially "Section B" almost nvr do it and the more stress of it is that it carry 40 marks. Die liao lor. And also today i'm the last second ppl to reach class for exam but the First, 3rd wan to pass up. Actually, i could be the 1st one in class to hand up paper cus the first thing i get my paper, i go through the paper than after that write my name before starting. And so, I start on "Section B" first so to see whether i rmb any of it. But the answer for it's is "NO!" i forget abt all and some of the question i study does not out. So, i start to stress my mind. So, noeing i cnt make it or do it i shld jus straight away do the MCQ and hand it up to teacher but i nvr be the 1st one to hand at last, cus i did still look back on "Section B" too see whether i still rmb some of it and fill it up. But lucky i cn sae is that manage to do at least 13 & 14 question A.
And also nvm, today woke up early in the morning ard 6 plus cus jus to recap again my LSM(but still fail if noe i will fail i really dun bother to recap and go through), but u noe...too tired to think any of it. My head blank in morning. Too slpy to think of any question or study. U noe...my head have been over my limit, limit till i cnt think any thing or care other thing. Too tired reason due to sch...i sick of going home and back to sch. Since the 2nd week of my sch daes start i been going sch after that back sch after that home again...and also so sorries for su, cus maybe i will be failing nope is cmf failing my LSM as last saturday she tot me even she tired. 大姐, 对不起。
And also so sorry for my friend(ES, SU, CL, YB and Two of my bishan ite friend) who worries me whether i attend sch anot. Cus i noe u all scare i gt debar but i noe what i doing so dun scared. Since what i have done i will responsible for it. I'm not kids anymore...but for nw please jus beg u all cn jus treat me like kids i really wan to be kids cus loss in a big city which i dun belong too. I'm a bad girl too...make my parent worries especially my mum and dad...whenever at home i wan t0 tell lie telling hw my life for today bring a fake smile home i really wan to run away with it...hate it. I'm nt apple and for those finding apple i think she have gone which she use to be but noe this apple, i'm a air nw which jus feel it went u wan me ard went dun wan me walk away. This is the much i cn do. My mind for this whole mnth cn sae prepare to be blank. And comeing up project make me sick of it cus our teacher(LSM) last min tell. And i also hate the pharse which ask me to hang-on till i end my this 2yrs course...i really wish to end it soon but s0 tired to think. But promise my friend i will at least try. If i complete is course thnks my parent and friend(especially es&su). But dunnoe they noe that i really too tired of my life, they cn see, they cn feel...i dunnoe, but for them i try to hang-on till with my last breath.
[MY FEEL MY MIND NOW I SHOUTED IT OUT]: AT THE START I KEEP ASKING MYSELF DID I DO THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR GOING SIMEI ITE, A BIG SCHOOL WHICH I WISH TO GO SINCE 2005. BUT THE ANSWER IS I DUNNOE I'M LOSS! I FEEL LIKE I HAVE MAKE A BIG MISTAKE OR MAYBE I GOT PROBLEM WHICH MAYBE I DUNNOE ABOUT IT. NOT THAT I MISS MY BISHAN LIFE BUT ITE LIFE IS COMPLETE DIFFERENT SOMETIME MAKE ME HATE ITE LIFE AND HATE MYSELF. AND WHEN I TOOK MY NITEC OFFICE SKILL I SLD STOP AND SHLD'NT MOVE UP TO HIGHER NITEC STRAIGHT GO WORK. I NOE I WILL "HUO HUI" BUT SINCE THE YEAR 2005 ITE LIFE REALLY SO BUSY AND TIRED WHICH I AREADY NOE ABOUT IT SO DOESN'T CARE THINKING OF TWICE. I REALLY SO TIRED...TIRED! TIRED TO TALK, TO WALK OR TO GO SCHOOL. MY CLASSMATES FOR NOW ALSO TREAT ME QUITE GD TOO AND ALSO GOT FUNNY CUTE FRIENDS WHICH SOMETIME MAKE ME GO SCHOOL JUST TO HAVE A HAPPY MEMORIES FORM THEM. BUT DUE TO THE TIRED OF NOWDAYS AND LAST WEEK MY BODY SO WEAK SO BEEN LESS ATTENDING SCHOOL. I NOT THAT KIND WILL RUN AWAY FORM SCH...I NOT!!! CUS I'M SURE AND MY SEC FRIENDS ALSO NOE I NOT. BUT NOW I LESS ATTEND SCHOOL. AND SOME MORE MY TEACHER ALMOST DUNNOE HW TO TEACH SO MAKE ME MORE HATE TO SCHOOL. I WAN TO HIDE SO NO ONE FIND ME...BEENING TIRED TO U ALL MAYBE NOTHING TO ME JUST IMPORTANT LIKE NOT FOOD ALSO DIE JUS THE SAME THING. AND ONE THING WHICH ALMOST ANY OF MY FRIEND DUNNOE ME IS I AM A VRY ACT-STRONG PERSON CUS I TRY TO BE STRONG JUS NOT TO GET ALL MY LOVES WAN TO WORRIES SO I HAVE ACT-STRONG. AND HUMAN REALLY A JOKER AND A FOOL... MY END OF ROAD DUNNOE STOP AT WHERE, BUT LIFE TOO ME SOMETIME IS FAIR SOMETIME MAKE ME PATHETIC AND IF I EVER BORN IN THIS WORLD WHERE WOULD I GO AND BELONG... MY TEARS CALLING AND SAYING :"I'M TIRED, TIRED...APPLE I REALLY TIRED." REASON WHY I LIKE MY NICKNAME "TEARS" CUS IT REPRESENT MY INSIDE FEELING SO WHY I CALL "TEARS", AND ALSO SOMEONE WHEN I NEED YOU WHERE ARE U...WHERE ARE YOU!!!
TEARS(ME)
MY MIND COMPARE:
Why I hope to go SM ite:
Ans: Cus i dun wan to trouble my dad like last time when i'm studying in Bishan he have to send me when ever i got early lesson. And i cn also with my sec sch fren.
Now why I hate to go SM ite:
Ans: Near my hse so what...make me more and more tired. Sick of walking and taking bus to sch. The ways of teaching is cn sae S.U.X!!!
This week thinking: My mind totally blank due to my limit i have. 1st time so stress out. I wan to hide, run to somewhere which no one cn find me...i'm in dark...when will there be a star for me who willing to help me out and bright my way. who is my star.
Memorries_Tears
|12:33 PM|
Sunday, May 20, 2007
My Future Wedding House(i wish for future):
My Future Bedroom(i wish for future):
I deco it myself. But hope i cn have smth alike to it. Future Home i wanted for. ^.^
=------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------=
Jie Mei Hse:
Gt Da Jie, Er Jie and Siao Mei(Me).
Our trip:
All i Deco it by myself. All this photo make by myself. Nice~.~. And Da Jie also gt deco it too cus she see me deco so fun she also gt deco. Wait, u cn see it if she post it. So fun to deco so cn noe what kind u are and the life u wan for.
Memorries_Tears
|11:45 PM|
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Today, Saturday. Normally stay at home and slack. But hoho...go out half day with SU(Da jie). Haha...one things gt scold by her...due to0, i late again. I late of course gt reason cus yesterday friday, 18 may we both areadi cmf the time. Su tell me that she ard 1 plus end work. So, i aredi plan my things and set the time for my outing to fetch her. I woke up ard 8 plus, kp my rooms clean and tidy, pack my bag which things i needed for my outing later. After packing, i go eat my breakfast. So make things all until 10 plus to 11 plus. Than jus headed towards for my shower. I jus went in not 3 mins, su call me. I nvr pick as i was showering, it is my bro tell me that su call and ask to pass words to me saying dat she 12.30 end work. LOL(=_=).
I faster liao lor...time mix up liao. She early than my expected time. So, we meet at outrum park there. Then, went to koven find ES(Er jie), cus she working at there. LOL...we play at here working place until the ppl there kp looking us. Me all the way 'ke lian' cus compliant but su. Kp saying i late le nvm but still let her hungry...lol. We reach le kovan find Er jie first, than go Sake sushi eat lunch and also this i the 1st time we nvr use student price at sake sushi(rich hor we two...lol). After, that eat too full that our stomach going to bloated. Than go back see Er Jie, telling her we going le. So, we went off and b4 going off i bought the vanlina mini ice-cream. She aready bloated like hell and same too me, but i still wan to eat but damn bloated liao lor. Later, i force her eat ice-cream...she dun wan. But later we two "wei lai wei que"....
After eating, we sit mrt to hougang...stress. When reach hougang...so stresS(su noe y i stress)!! Then sit bus...i bluff by her(she noe wan)...lol...i kp compliant until she laugh also vry sot de angry. Me "bei pian". Sob. Go hme ard 8 plus...so tired. Then YB msg me at nite. So talk lor with him. Than su als0, teach me LSM today cus nxt tuesday, 22 may my exam. So go SG' Post...studies there and also shop there de NTUC. Than saw one of my friend friends which i last time study at bishan ite. So say hello to her. More funny is that i saw her actually at toilet. Today s0 fun but i gt stress cus at hougang and nwdaes so happy and enjoy the moments with "DA JIE". We nwdaes really damn gd man. And also "Qi Tai" our outing.
Memorries_Tears
|11:30 PM|
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Today nvr go sch again. Hiazz. Not i dun wan to attend sch is that nwdaes dunnoe what happen to me...my body became vry week. I been feeling sick especially nwdaes morning, feel dizzy and i wan to vomit but jus cnt vomit...make me feel so torture. Nw morning i see "star"... And nw really hope to go sch cus i got lots of lesson missed aready i nw cnt missed any of lesson especially my LSM, some more exam cuming and it's at the nxt week of tuesday, 22 May. How!!! Exam cuming but bodies still week. I scared i cnt hold on.
Maybe one day find one time i go and and a fully-body check. Cus nt young than b4 areadi. So better check-it and i noe myself i cn feel smth wrong with my body. Nw i wan to go sch to prepare my cuming exam...so hopefully my body cn hang-0n. Since April 16 my first day of sch start until nw May, i have been absent for 4 times le. I dun wan to absent myself but i really been not feeling well. I absent i stay at hm rest also nvr go any where. Hope tomorrow is a better day for me. I scared wait my form-teacher(CA)ask me what happen wait i sae le he dun believe it i dunnoe what to do. But i will try to attend lesson and also follow-up tgther with friends in project. My body is really so week until i dunnoe what to do. And yes blogger ok le so happy.
Memorries_Tears
|5:47 PM|
Monday, May 14, 2007
NW~1.00am! NVR slp cus cnt slp MAN!!! I jus cnt slp so damn stress. I so stress really, dunnoe what to do. [K] wan patch! YB like me but dunnoe what i cn do to him cus he jus msg me smth make me loss my away...i nw really guilty. Promisee 'yb' to give him chances but hw repatch back [k]!!! I wan to tell yb but i scared hurt him...and for more my heart really dun have the feel for [k] and hw...i confuse. one k and yb. If chose again i think yb gt chances cus noe him for 4 yrs so dun mind trying.
What i wan nw is a clear mind. This week me and su gt jam of this bgr. Today cl call me ard afternoon times to accompany her to drian which ard my hse together with bs as there is park there so we walk in rain. lOL!!! rainning yar. I tot she gt problem and maybe break liao so happy but go there...lol nth happen ask me and bs thing. But luckily gt bs cus all the question he answers de as for me, i kana beat by cl. All of us jam by 'bgr things.'
And nw me and su wan single wan to enjoy our "Jie Mei" life. But tis week we two...haizz. Is gd or bad? i dunnoe. But i maybe gt plan. Firlt liao with someone. cus [k] nvr cherish me b4. So y i accpect patch..nw think also late liao cus patch at 10.55pm. If turn back time i will sae to him see first. I wan to be fair to yb...dun mine whether face handsome or ugly...nw my head only think i wan to be fair. Cherish who ever good to me, cn happy more than sad, cn share problem together. i wan simple nth much.
YB y dun sae early and jus sae out and y like me secretly so what so what, jus stead so diffcult mae like if u truly like wan dun ever strike in yr mind the word "stead". i dunnoe what u doing cus i give u chances as i noe b4 that kind of feeling like some one in secretly so torment den y still like tat. nites msg u dunnoe u noe hw my feeling so mixed up.I nw really guilty cus of u. My heart fly without no where...in dark, fold blind, ear cover. Y... i have to stress nwdaes things...wait my class, wait my frenz, wait my own bgr.
WHO CN TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN! WHAT HAPPEN THIS WEEK! I BEEN LIKE A FOOL A FOOL. HOW MANI TIME I ND TO GET LOSS CUS OF MY OWN PROBLEM! BGR THINKS REALLY SOME TIME CN MAKE US BEYOND OUR LIMIT. I'M TIRED!!!
Tis is simple life i jus wan dun make me so complicated and loss. Simple of all.
Memorries_Tears
|12:12 AM|
Friday, May 11, 2007
So tired...really tried! I wake up ard 12 smth and so i did not go to sch today cus i overslept. Maybe nw daes play too mani online games, and also stress my studies too. My LSM exam is cuming and my BFP role-play is cuming sn too....make me stress. And also tired of going sch cus my time is free for tis 1st module. I nd to attend three lesson, gd but tired i nd to go hm if no lesson after that back to sch again for other lesson...really so tired. I stop here le. Back to my slp again. Nwdaes thinks to0 much question make my head so heavy and today really so tired. haizz...dunnoe gt ppl sae me when i nt in sch today.
And also nw daes...blogger dunnoe what happen...like sot de. Problem liao the blogger!
SO TIRED........let me slp awhile
Memorries_Tears
|4:22 PM|
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sick of my life in ite...really sick of it. Been in sch for abt 3 weeks and after this week end, going to be the fourth week in ite. People see it thinks it fast but people dun like it thinks it slow. After i posted to this sch, another changes make ard me, and i noe people make changes in life cus life change them and so they have to accept it no matter hw...so y dun just "TRY" to accept it even dun like or hate it.
I noe i hate it...real hate it, the life i have nw but hw!...cry, angry, studdorn...or etc. people will think i childish. I hate ite life since the day i went in ite and inside ite world cn sae lots of different kind of people. But no choice. Since the day i in in ite that day i sld not that i'm not kids and have to be a well-prepare adult which that day i step in ite. My life, my world changes. Firstly in BS ItE, i really dun like so much. But noe some friend true my heart for period, they really a nice friend i have in BS ite they help me and cn understand what i wan for and looking for and they help me. So happy and wonderful their even they noe that i'm a quiet girl for most time. It's take 2-3 weeks just to noe them and get along with them.
But now...now in SM ite, changes! I'm loss...the old apple i cnt find. In tis sch until now still cnt find a friend which cn be at least 50% alike character. I noe in tis class...i'm like a nobody who friend sae i'm like a "hackcarer"(means hack-care) which i'm totally not, and sae i a quiet person(admit that i'm quiet but noe me long le also noe i'm not). Every little move i make jus find irrateing even myself cnt stand my-self. I noe they(sm ite "F") want to help me and help me get to poly. But i dun wan...i wan to enjoy and cherish what i have now, like for example: i quiet in class, cn tok to me in soft voice. When there is mini project Presentation i also noe that u all want me to tok more i noe...but dun suddenly force ppl to tok and present. Making me loss and loss...i dun noe...tha give me idotic face.
I nd time and nd my confidence. Now i cnt find myself back hw i find time and confidence too. U all making me jus like fool a fool and the word "respect" is it so diffcult to understand, and other "try to understand" also diffcult?. All i wan is that give me abit time, try to understand...not i tell u all but u all still hack-care and give me idotic face(esp one of my friend). Until nw...i no happy since i step in tis sch not happy at all. No friend who is jus abit like me and we share same comments so i cn tok to her when in nd, share joys with her when in nd, play together when in nd. NO ONE! no one at all. total 5 of us in group but they jus do own things. 2 of them alike and other 3 of them alike in character...for me...left alone with own character. Sometime, hate myself and think of myself really hate what i been doing. Come to sch see their face make me areadi like...siao. Hate my class ppl for some of them...Imagine for 2yrs...wah....2yrs heres.....sien sien sien
I REALLY SO SICK AND TIRED OF MY LIFE FOR NW...I ND BREAK! BREAK! BREAK! LOSSING APPLE WHO LOSS IN SM ITE SINCE THE DAY SHE IN! HATE IT SO MUCH BUT IN A "NO" CHOICE WAY, ACCPECT REALITY CUS IT THE FACT OF THE REAL WORLD.
Memorries_Tears
|10:01 PM|
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February 2005
